1 Name: VIPPER 2014-12-07 04:50
- Always be the one to start the new thread so people will be stuck with your shitty joke only you get.
2. Don't 4GET 2GET the 2GET.
3. Befriend as many cute girls as you possibly can.
4. 4GET what >>2-kun said.
5. Even though sage is polite in most instances, do not sage a thread when contributing something worthwhile to a thread, especially if the thread is near the bottom of the page: people might not read your reply!
6. Things are not as daunting as they may seem.
7. Seek the truth. The jew fears the truth.
8. Always check to see if there is toilet paper before you do nature's most disgusting act.
9. Check your privilege every day. If you are particularly privileged on a certain day, make sure to apologize.
10. Uncheck your privilege so you can check it again.
11. Check my dubs.
12. Check your prostate
13. Check yourself before you shrek yourself.
14. Ask yourself why you would need toilet paper, if you are just going to speak to a kike.
NEW FORUM
http://www.poontown.net/AuQDo
17. Remove your brain and fight Koishi
19. Don't mess up the number order.
20. Call out collusion whenever it happens.
21. Drink some tea.
22. Become a board tree, and then sit in this chair.
23. Don't discuss racial politics with anyone.
24. Always announce when you've read that doujinshi
25. Always recognize patterns in numbers, even post numbers, or you're not a truVIPPER.
26. Pour some out for the dead homies.
27. Post primes.
28. Optimus Primes.
29. >>420 will have useful advice.
30. Only give advice you are willing to take.
31. Dispense with advice you don't need.
32. Be advised.
33. Don't waste your time with numerology.
34. Make sure your ampersands are as beautiful as possible.
35. You don't got to do the W, but you got to do the W.
36. If you meet someone with better shoes than you have, Make sure you improve yours for next time.
37. Always let your dog know you love it.
38. Don't ever drink Naked juices. Just trust me on this one.
39. Drink juice while naked.
40. Naked while juice drink.
31. While juice, drink naked.
32+10. Don't be a menace to south central while drinking your juice in da hood.
999. Substract 956 from this post's number
44. Please don't play with numbers.
45. I have eliminated all the O-juice, and now my pee is yellow. Never again!
18. Leave no post behind.
46. Always check for traps before entering the room.
47. Always check for teeth before entering the vagina.
48. Vagina dentata, hakuna matata.
94. Take every opportunity to enrage random people on the internet whom you will likely never meet.
05. Go with the flow. Flow with the flow.
51. Look carefully at your post before hiting the "Reply" button.
54. Eror checking is for squaers.
53. Poop with vigor.
54. Wipe with vigor.
55. Snipe with trigger.
56. Never fart if you can shart instead.
57. No matter what happens, we will all die, so live your life the way you want to, and live it to its fullest.
58. Go to Mexican restaurants and stay all day because they have unlimited chips.
59. Dry your eyes, mate.
60. Please be aware of your own financial limitations when living life the way you want to, as to not exceed your budget.
61. Ignore >>57
62. Untangle your tingle.
63. Post dank memes
64. Nintendo.
65. Use a mechanical keyboard.
66. Listen to me typing secretareaofvipquality.net/saovq/ on my mechanical keyboard:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1EWyOatEmjp
Isn't it a satisfying sound? I think so.
67. kill yourself on friday #wow #whoa
68. Suicide is too much effort and pain. Just take a nap instead.
69. Ignore the opinions of people who have anime or reaction image avatars.
70. Fire people on Friday so there's less likely to be an incident.
71. Remind at least on person every friday that they got knocked the fuck out.
72. Suicide is painless, and it brings on many changes.
73. In a pinch, the vuvuzela is an acceptable substitute for a trumpet
74. Wear seifuku.
75. Remember to watch the Geminid meteor shower at 8:00 P.M. EST.
76. Tell all time in UTC
77. Acknowledge dubs, but feel shame afterwards.
78. Live until you die.
79. Tell all time in UTC and offer Swatch time as an alternative.
80. Don't announce wasted GETs, for it cheapens the good ones
81. There are no good GETs.
82. All the good GETs were GOT gallantly with my GET gun. The greatest GETs are all gone.
83. Don't listen to >>687
84. Spend 8 hours a day playing Sargeant Chief on your Xcube
85. Experiences are more valuable than material possessions.
86. Ponder what's going on yonder while you wonder.
87. Wonder how someone could mistake wonder for wander.
88. Shoot a man before throwing him out of a plane
89. Don't be like >>87
90. Be a big guy for me.
91. Don't Bane-post.
92. Doubt everyone and everything, including yourself and your doubts, but don't go any further than 3 metadoubts.
Flush hard, it's a long way to Athens.
94. If you are making a suicide stew, remember put your heart into it.
94. Number your post.
96. Don't post at the same time someone else does.
97. Give a rimjob while receiving another.
98. Smoke hashish, but only once.
99. Superficial knowledge is no good.
100. Post again shortly after.
101. Don't patronize jewish owned businesses or establishments.
102. Check dubs and spam links in order to kill the anti-semites among us.
103. Recite the six kalimas for fun and laughter and to scare Israelis and confuse muslims.
104. Put Arby's Horsey Sauce in your condoms after you have sex.
1337. Try to learn something about everything and everything about something.
106. Complete the word with "pie":
__n_s
107. Even after you graduate from college, continue to study in your free time. Never stop learning.
108. Pines are an intriguing part of nature, learn to appreciate them.
109. In order to save lots of time, don't watch entire anime shows. Just search "[series name] funny" or "[series name] best moments" on Youtube. Weeaboos with time to spare make compilations of the moments that are actually worth watching.
11O. Don't worry if you didn't get it right this time. Nobody is keeping track of how many times you've fucked up.
111. Check these sweet trips.
112. Trick these street keks.
113. Be wary of cursed equipment.
114. >>110-san is wrong. The NSA is keeping track of how many times you've fucked up. Even if it's not illegal, it's being recorded and archived. Every embarrassing encounter on social media, every internet argument, every time you've called someone a faggot, every time you've misspelled a word, every time you've watched porn because you don't have a girlfriend... they know. They will always know.
115. Call the person tracking you at Mossad/NSA a FAGGOT for tracking you calling said person a FAGGOT for being such a FAGGOT who is not standing up to the system and demanding this whole thing to be shut down.
116. If they're a cop, they have to say they're a cop.
117. Don't worry about the "best before"-date. You most likely won't die from it, and if you die at least you don't die hungry.
118. Use an 'em-dash' or 'mutton' ― instead of two regular dashes --.
120. Days.
121. Become an activist just like me
122. Say "BOOOGT!" when you answer the phone
123. Apologize for being a white male all the time.
124. Don't stop, never give up, never give up 'til you repost this. Let them all S A O V Q, bring it all back to VIP.
125. Gimme a dollar
126. Accuse everyone of being Mittens, even if you don't know who Mittens is.
128. Daddy Cool says "Chill Out !!!"
129. Don't masturbate too often. It lowers your testosterone.
130. Masturbate as often as you can. Listen to no haters.
131. Masturbate, but feel bad about it.
132. Masterbait and win contests doing it.
132. Master bait and aggravate strangers on the internet.
133. Masterbaiting will turn you into a bait master.
135. If you're playing basketball and someone is guarding you too close, take it to the paint! If they give you too much space, shoot a three!
136. Research "histrionic personality disorder".
137. Save yourself the time and ignore >>136-san, simply remember the worst 40% of all your interactions with females for the tl;dr version.
138. Purchase a new game and play it. Then act out the game in its entirety outside in public. Roleplay as every single character.
139. If you can't purchase it, pirate RapeLay.
140. Show your gratitude to the makers of eroge by sending them limited edition figures.
141. Smoke marijuana seven times a day.
142. Don't question if the weed on the show is real. It is.
143. Don't partake in hedonistic practices which mess with the reward circuit in your brain.
144. Partake in hedonistic practices which mess with the reward circuit in your brain.
145. Tell others what to stop doing
146. Remember that most people are stupid enough to believe that homosexuality is not a mental illness, all races are equal, there is a patriarchy, and feminism is a good thing. And since they are already having that screamed a them 24/7 you may as well spit into the wind and try and tell the degenerates what they are doing wrong, if only so you can say "I told you so" ten years down the line when they finally grow up.
147. Gas the kikes, race war now.
148. HAUUUU NANO DESUUUUU~
149. Teach your children about Daddy Cool, but only if they pay you enough.
150. Remember to fuck as many people who are the same sex as you, because it'll make the old people uncomfortable and thats always worth a laugh.
151. Don't listen to fags
152. Don't ever laugh with "ka ka"
153. Ignore >>152-san if you are an immortal blonde vampire loli.
147. Remember that everyone and everything should be more feminised so we can eventually live in a delicate and beautiful world where everything smells nice and is pleasing to be near. Make sure to take part by choosing the most feminine option for every purchase you make, and by speaking in a higher register with no swearing.
155. Make sure to check the post number before you just pick an arbitrary one that feels right.
678. Come from the future and bring news to the past.
333. :3
159. Remove the vaginal jew.
160. Keelhaul the unworthy.
161. dig out the eyes put them in the dig out the eyes put them in the freeze it makes the eye nice soft and for easy to dig out the eyes and put the min the freeze HA HA HA HA HA YES OH YES i haev now
162. Learn Proto-Indo-European.
162. Learn Proto-Indo-European.
164. Disregard >>162-163, who can't even post properly. Learn a useful language, like Eteocypriot or Lycian.
165. Make connections between everything.
166. Đừng tin tưởng bất cứ ai không đọc được tiếng Việt.
167. Never pay more than 20 bux for vidya.
168. Wipe front to back so you don't get shit in your cooch.
999. Ayy
1000. Lmao
Ok this might be a little long but bear with me here.
So Im at this Irish Pub, Mahaffey’s Pub its pretty cool I suggest you try it out. You receive a card and if you buy over 100 beers you join the club. I was currently up to 85 before I came to the Pub. So at about 10 beers in I had this crazy Idea to order 5 beers at once to get into the club. I down 3 of them and the other two im sipping on. Meanwhile im chatting with this girl I was meeting at the Pub…. bla bla bla.
We end up getting a ride back to my place and watching, The Spy Next Door, which happened to be on Satellite. Movie is garbage by the way. About half way through we start hooking up and we go to the guest room because bed is currently broken. Things start heating up and I have this other idea, I figured lets do two things I havent done before in one night, the chocolate entrance. At first she said no but I mentioned I would give her some of the Astronaut Dried Ice cream we got on the way home as a joke. Shes like, whatever im down to try something. So Im really drunk I stumble to grab some Vaseline. Im not sure how much to put so I just start rubbing it all over, the leftover I wipe on my shirt on the side of the bed and use some to slick up my hair trying to be a badass, no joke. I try to get down to business and she just starts YELLLING. Im like alright maybe we should just keep this civil and keep it in the right hole. But shes still yelling, saying it burned her! I mentioned, thanks baby, that empowers me but im really just average no need to patronize me here. I turn on the lights because she says its really burning now and see that I used Icy Hot for lube. Shes start yelling and yelling I take a look, it looks like an onion ring that I ate earlier at the Pub! I am so drunk im just like what should I do?!? So I turn on the shower and I start smearing it off and I get some ice wrap a paper towel around it and start pressing, she said that helped slightly. She is in the other room right now because shes pissed, and with reason. I figure I should call a cab for her because I sure as hell am not driving, but it ends up I have no cash on me I spent my last 10 dollars on a couple packs of some damn Astronaut dried ice cream at the 711 down the street on the way home.
I offered to make her a nice meal and a pack of some snacks that we got but she gave me the silent treatment. Anyways im just sitting in here and shes out in the other room she says the pain stopped. What should I do anyone been in a similar situation, I dont really want her to be this pissed at me. Should I offer her another pack of my Astronaut ice cream to break the ice or what?
Well, never mind all that, >>171. This has nothing to do with this thread, but would you just listen to me for a little bit? See, I went to the local Irish Pub, Mahaffey's Pub today. Right. Mahaffey's. And the damn place was packed so full of people, I couldn't even find a seat. So I looked around a bit, and I found a sign that said "Get a card and join the 100 beers club". What the hell is wrong with you people? Are you idiots or something? Any other day you wouldn't even think of going to Mahaffey's, but they have a card, you all flock in here? It's just 100 fucking beers! 100 beers! And you're bringing girls too. Look at that, a happy couple going to Mahaffey's. Con-fucking-gratulations. And now the guy's going, "All right! Chad's going to order a pint of Guinness!" Shit, I can't watch any more of this.
Mahaffey's should be fucking brutal. Two guys sit facing each other across a dirty table, and you never quite know if they'll suddenly just start a fight right there. It's stab-or-be-stabbed, and that's what so damn great about the place. Women and kids should stay the fuck away.
Well, I finally found a seat at the bar, but then the guy next to me goes, "I'll have an Irish car bomb!". So now I'm pissed off again. Who the fuck orders Irish car bombs these days? Why are you looking so goddamn proud when you say that? I was gonna ask you, are you really going to fucking drink that shit? I wanted to fucking interrogate you. For about a fucking hour. You know what? I think you just wanted to say "car bomb".
Now, take it from the Mahaffey's veteran. The latest thing among the Mahaffey's pros is this: Boilermakers. That's the ticket. A pint of beer, and whiskey. This is what someone who knows his shit orders. They put in more whiskey, and less beer. A large pint glass with the shot dropped in, that's really fucking awesome. Now, you should know, if you keep ordering this, there's a risk employees might write you up. This really is a double-edged sword. I really can't recommend this for amateurs.
And you, >>171, well, you should really just stick to today's special.
173. Ignore >>171,172
174. Laugh at >>173-san as she is dragged away kicking and screaming to the tanasinn chamber.
176. Don't quit your day job.
176. Don't be that autistic who thinks someone would need to click a link referring to the post directly above it, and sperg out trying to do damage control since your DNQ was showing in >>173-
178. Don't use your advice for being a better VIPPER to argue with other VIPPERs unless you are >>178.
179. Never try using homemade drugs on pets, try them on yourself instead.
180. Be the second most definite version of GTKRadiant, the one before >>181
181. I don't know what >>180 means.
182. A search engine is just a click away.
183. When posting, try not to sound like a douche. Deliberately withholding information vital to understanding what you're trying to say doesn't make you look clever or mysterious, it makes you look like you're trying too hard to be clever or mysterious.
183a. Always post as if the rest of the internet might crumble tomorrow. Anything relying on external sources will become hideously outdated in a matter of months.
183b. Anyway, it isn't. It's two keystrokes away.
184. Don't be so obviously passive-aggressive.
185. Take advice as advice instead of as a baseless personal attack.
186. Write all internet posts as if you're directing them to a tabby cat
187. Be as autistic, rude, and hard to understand as possible.
188. Be as excellent, nice and clear as you can be.
189. Rejoice in the softness of a girl.
190. Use a Q-tip to relieve your cat when she is in heat.
191. Shit before you take your shower, and make sure there is toilet paper before you do.
192. Scratch your balls with love and care.
193. If you find yourself scratching your anus, either learn to wipe better or get dewormed.
194. Face your inner semen demons.
195. Push it to the limit.
196. When streaming, push it to the absolute limit.
197. Limit your absolutes. Most of the time, they're not needed.
198. Train in the gravity chamber every day to become stronger.
199. Refresh the thread right before posting if the posting order is important. orz
200. Preparing for something big is to set up for an upset.
201. Hope for the best but expect the worst and you will be VIP.
202. Lead unVIP posters by being VIP yourself, not by berating them.
203. Face your outer loli semen demons with your cock.
204. Girls? Boys? It's all good, as long as it looks cute in a serafuku.
205. Elementary schooler girl is your okazu.
206. Don't expose children to the sounds of sodomy
207. Only sodomize deaf children.
208. Refer to people using their preferred pronouns.
210. RARGH ARGH TUMBLR SHITSKINS JEWS >>209 FUCKING KIKES NIGGER WOP CHINK ARGH
211. Wait for the kike puppets to expose themselves more. Since they have a compulsive need to have their degeneracy accepted so that they can believe their mental illness is "normal" they will inevitably post some link to their real life. Once they do that use it to destroy them publicly. Threaten them, link their employers to their degeneracy, show their family and friends. Remember the ultimate goal isn't to fight them online, but to create enough resentment and anger in meatspace so that the pendulum of popular opinion will swing back away from the garbage spread by the electric jew, and towards a cleansing of our nations and the establishment of true white homelands the world over.
212. Don't read >>211
213. One cool free ringtone with every VIPcoin purchase.
214. Completely ignore >>211. Whatever you do, do not read it under any circumstances.
215. Ūsę dïãcrîtīcs ìnåprøprįâtėlÿ.
216. Memorize at least the first three powers of six.
216. юз сирилик энстэд оф тат булшит.
217. Homosexuals can be white nationalists too.
219. Desensitize yourself to everything.
218. Leave no number behind.
220. Paizuri is the best, remember that.
221. The best form of paizuri has no pai in it.
222. GET HEHEHE
223. Hate all non-white races, but simultaneously worship the Japanese.
224. Remember that the Japanese are classified as Honorary Aryans and worth almost as much as a White man.
225. When you listen to pop music, always analyze the lyrics for esoteric satanic meaning.
226. When you listen to "pop" music, you're jamming with Hitler!
227. Ignore pop music and the other products peddled by the Jewish media oligarchs.
228. Don't bother posting in this thread if your advice is not a passive aggressive refutation of the previous poster's advice.
229. Remember the JEWs like to deflect attention by using buzzwords like "passive agressive" when they are called out on their manipulation of the masses.
231. This is all bullshit, so don't listen to any of it. Find another thread to help you.
232. When called out on your blatant JEWery damage control as much as possible.
233. Make sure to call any sane people as antisemitic so that those you're manipulating continue to support your genocide in da holyland, if they don't fall for it tell them about your six gazillion ancestors who you claim to have died.
234. Always keep JEWS in the JEWS thread only.
235. Make more text-to-speech songs.
236. Make more speech-to-text songs.
237. Ewes choose to eschew watching Jews chewing on shoes, do you?
238. Express yourself! Eeeaaahh! Oaaah! Eeehaah! Yeeaah!
239. Divide and Conquer the goyim
240. Eschew the JEW
241. Uhh sghiddhen brüthlebrüüthnammerthen
242. Deny the Deutsch
243. Dispatch the Dutch
244. Check the privilege.
245. Varnish the Spanish
246. Irradiate the Israeli.
Finish the Finns
248. Zap the Jap
249. Hammer the hebe.
250. Crush the kike.
251. Disappear the icelander
252. Jeer the JEW
Spear the Queer.
254. Attack the Kazakh
255. Murder the Turkmen
256. Kiss Suika on her chest
257. Return the slab.
258. ต้องพึ่งพาซอฟต์แวร์การแปลออนไลน์เมื่อคุณต้องการที่จะโพสต์ในภาษาแปลกที่คนทั่วไปไม่ได้พูดออนไลน์ หลังจากที่ทุกคนแม้ว่าผลที่ได้คือเรื่องไร้สาระ - ไม่มีใครเลยที่จะรู้ว่า
259. Play CS drink ES.
260. Kill whitey.
261. Stop being an internet racist like >>260-san. It's edgy tryhard shit.
262. Do not respond to shitposters or trolls. They want you to react, even if your reaction is to insult them. The only winning move is to not play. They like attention, so deprive them of it.
263. Just bend over and take it. That's what sissy boys like VIPPERs like, right? A big fat /lounge/ dick up their asses while they beg for one in their mouths.
264. Make losts of posts about le meme Touhou
265. Don't be like >>263 and post excepts from your erotic fan fiction.
266. Don't rely on spellcheck. There is a difference between excepts and excerpts.
267. Don't assume someone is using spellcheck when they're just awful at spelling and pronunciation.
268. Become the sediment.
[Del]
∧＿∧ ／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
（ ´∀｀） ＜ 270. If and when you do incorporate text are into your post remember to select any formating but "text art" get the [Del] in the top left and cut it off with long lines of text and no <nobr> tags that way you ensure it is quality.
／ | ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
/ .|
/ "⌒ヽ |.ｲ |
＿＿ | .ノ | || |＿＿
. ノく＿＿つ∪∪ ＼
＿（（＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿_＼
￣￣ヽつ￣￣￣￣￣￣ | |￣
＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿__| |
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣| |
271. Wash your hands with somewhat hot water before attempting to take a typing test. It will increase your speed significantly.
272. Keep extracting nut butter from your peehole.
273. Don't listen to >>273
274. Go to >>274
276. Stop talking about how you are going to change tomorrow. Change now.
277. Stop talking about how you are going to change today. Change later.
278. Spare some change.
279. Create a viral website when you're 15 years old
280. Become a cuckold, shame yourself publicly, alienate yourself from long time friends, and destroy everything you have created.
281. Don't be a jew like >>280 suggests.
282. strive to be the person you want to be; a jew.
283. Expect a significant other exactly as attractive as yourself.
285. Discontinue any jokes.
286. Bop it
287. Bop someone else's, too
288. Don't get bopped. Perform preemptive bops to ensure this.
289. Go bop yourself.
290. Never trust a goon.
291. Stop reminding people about goons, they don't want to remember they exist.
292. Internet jargon strengthens the NEET muscle.
293. Realize that September finally ended and you didn't notice.
294. Bring on October that never ends- It can only get bonier from here
Forget everything before this post as you remember forgetting every post previously forgotten before this post to be forgotten.
296. Listen to drone metal.
297. Tell VIPPERs where all the cool kids hang out online nowadays.
298. Make a new cool hangout for VIPPERs
299. Spend hours agonizing over making a new handle.
300. Remind yourself that the classics are always best and if xXSEPHIROTH666Xx isn't taken you should swoop that up as fast as possible.
301. Practice with your custom-smithed extra long masamune
302. Use chocolate spread on your bread.
303. Check which thread you are posting in before you post.
304. If you own a website, censor any words that disagree with your ideology so you can control the narrative.
305. Don't be afraid to expose your power level.
306. There is no need to be afraid of exposing your power levels if you are a Hikikomori.
307. Hikikomori are really depressing people. Don't sell yourself that low if you are a shut-in with a GED and/or a hobby.
308. Remember that it was other people that drove you away and made you hide behind that door. It doesn't matter what they say or how they judge you, you are safe right where you are.
309. Just because you're a Hikikomori doesn't mean you don't plan on getting a job.
310. DQN is actually more VIP than SAoVQ. VIPPERs, join the DQN side!
311. No! Don't go to DQN!
312. Go to DQN!
314. Defend your homeland at all costs! No matter the danger, no matter the threat, the homelands of the VIPPERs must not be compromised!
315. If you don't like something, get as many people as you can to make fun of it, that way nobody takes it seriously.
316. If you are a female, wear dresses and ribbons. It doesn't matter what fashion or cultural politics says. Dresses and ribbons are cute as fuck, and this world is ugly and disgusting enough as it is. If you take a few moments to buck what the spirit of the times dictates you should wear, and instead decide to wear what is objectively cute you will be making the world just a little bit brighter for everyone else.
317. See >>316
See >>313
319. Go to bed 1 hour earlier each night. Before you know it, you'll have traveled back in time!
320. EIGHT SIX SEVEN FIVE THREE OH NINE
321. If you are a male, wear dresses and ribbons. It doesn't matter what fashion or cultural politics says. Dresses and ribbons are cute as fuck, and this world is ugly and disgusting enough as it is. If you take a few moments to buck what the spirit of the times dictates you should wear, and instead decide to wear what is objectively cute you will be making the world just a little bit brighter for everyone else.
323. Realize that men are not cute, and no amount of ribbons can fix that.
324. Realise that some men are cute, just not many. Maybe 0.000000000001%.
The real 324. Realise that "cute" is reserved babbies, furry creatures and behaviour.
325. Understand that since women are effectively infants in their intellectual development, they can indeed be cute.
326. Learn basic Russian so you too can blend in when playing games online.
327. Have a homosexual encounter if you haven't already.
328. Blame God, the Universe, the Jews, the Illuminati, feminism or Obama for all of your problems, but never the same one multiple times in succession.
329. It's the jews. It's always the jews. All the other things are fronts they put up. God is a kike creation used to subjugate the children of Europa. Feminism is a jewish plot to destroy White culture. The illuminati is a group of shabbos goy using their power and influence towards the chosen's end goal of a one world government. Obama is a jew puppet put on the throne to pacify the mass with welfare and to enact Israeli foreign policy.
330. Shitpost an advertisement for your unappealing music repeatedly on insignificant textboards that have a grand total of seven regular posters because that will completely make people want to shell out for your over priced garbage.
331. Remember that dark ambient is the laziest form of music and that a full 45 minute dark ambient album that's indistinguishable from professional ones can be made in less than 15 minutes.
332. Recite poems while driving around the desert looking for oil in your 70's Lincoln Continental.
334. Let it all out, through your anus.
335. Breathe. Breathe in the air. Breathe in through your anus.
336. If you want to relax, breathe with your diaphragm. It will make your stomach poke out more, but who cares?
337. Don't bother getting a job. Just find a cute and smart boyfriend who can make lots of money, that way you can sit at home and work on sewing bows onto your dresses!
339. Encourage degeneracy and the weakening of your fellow man, so that when the inevitable fall comes you will be able to use your strength to murder and rape there women.
340. Cobwebs are nature's way of protecting you from secret booby traps.
341. Heehee >>340-kun said booby
343. Think about why you have to delete your posts.
344. A pack of matches has more power than a judge. A pack of cards has more power than a bank. A pack of negroes judge power by banking on a particular card. And the capital of Nebraska is Lincoln.
345. If you wake up one morning and think about what you would have to do if you were going to survive completely detached from the rest of humanity you are already doing it wrong. Study your region. Study agriculture, find out what crops grow there. Learn basic nutrition. Figure out where you would get your salt and vitamin C form. Learn to dress animals. Go innawoods. Escape the nightmare before it begins.
RUN VIPPERS
346. Use gin to disinfect and superglue to close minor lacerations and save money on doctor bills.
347. Learn to make shitty art in MSPaint and spread it around for the world to see.
348. Be completely autistic and fix the perspective on someone's pic that they made in MSPaint before reposting it and apologizing for being an autist.
349. Do things consciously.
350. If you can get close enough to pee on it, it's probably not that sacred or priceless.
356. Sell your neighbour's soul to Satan
358. Drink Cherryade or anything tasting of artificial cherries.
359. you can't eat this instant udon if you're afraid of tanks
360. If you are the moderator of an anonymous board, do not lock the sticky thread. Users may have things they want to say in there.
361. Addendum to >>358 Check weird grocery shops or restaurants for Cheerwine. You can probably get your hands on it even if you don't live in the American South.
362. Enjoy comedy in life
364. The best way to hide an erection is by drawing everyone's attention to your breath-taking, soulful blue/green eyes. If that's not an option, hold your breath while you dance the Macarena or something.
365. Half a year is not 6 months. Half a pound is not a quarter of a kilogram. Half and half is not fucking milk.
366. Don't fuckin even
367. When unable to sleep put on a stream on low volume you can watch while in bed. Fall asleep instantly.
368. Avoid using your any device with backlight 1 hour before you sleep. If you still have issues, get a bedroom lamp and read when you are unable to sleep. If that doesn't work, at least you did something culturally nurturing with your insomnia.
369. Reach out to your fellow man, and give him a handjob.
370. One of the numbers in this thread is my area code. It isn't this one. It's one of them though.
371. Piece together the identities of your fellow VIPPERS using whatever clues they leave behind.
372. Despair, but also despair.
373. Make your failures hilarious.
374. Hilarious yes, expensive no.
375. Accept your fate, no matter how terrible.
376. Be kind by default. You'll be happier. Saying mean things isn't funny.
377. Sod off, wanker!
378. The correct answer to the question "are you a feminist" is and always is "define feminist".
379. Type differently than you would elsewhere, so that >>371 can't identify you.
380. Drain your balls periodically.
381. Boypussy.
383. Keep draining your balls periodically. It's the only sexual contact most of us will get in our lonely lives.
384. Don't post when someone else is posting. That's just rude.
385. Imitate >>383 to annoy him.
386. Use singular "they" when the gender is unknown.
387. When in doubt, say "s/h/it"
388. Don't swear, honey, it's rude.
389. Snails are holy and must be treated like kings.
390. Lolzy kapzy
387. When on the internet always use "he". You are more likely than not correct, and fuck >>386 for trying to slide that door open just a little bit more so they can get away with making people use their imaginary pro-nouns.
392. When your penis pines relieve it.
393. Realize that singular they is not a made up pronoun and has been used for decades (arguably centuries) before SJW began to advocate its usage.
Side note: just because singular they exists doesn't mean everybody should be called "they." It has its specific uses.
396. Don't let the joke fly over your head like >391-tan
397. When in doubt, bout.
398. Refrain from starting posts with "realize that" ITT.
399. Don't give the satisfaction to him.
400. Contribute to the VIPTRONIC albums.
401. Despite commonly held belief, a skeleton key is not made out of skeletons; it is made by skeletons.
402. What's in your wallet is everybody's business. What's in your pocket is typically your own business. What's in your underpants should be your wallet.
403. ERROR: ADVICE FORBIDDEN
404. I lost a file...do YOU have it?
405. Let the semen flow freely from your pisshole.
406. 14/88 stormfaggotry is not VIP QUALITY.
407. Judaism is the scourge of the developed world and not VIP quality.
408. Tell Mittens to go home
409. Teddy bears are privy to more secrets than the Devil himself. Have you hugged your teddy bear today?
410. If your post contains a typo, create a sage post profusely apologizing for it. If that post contains a typo, commit seppuku. Otherwise, start or bump a thread demanding that the admin enable users to edit their own posts this instant.
411. Check 'em!
412. Don't bother anymore.
413. Bitchtits nigger nigger aaaaaaaaaah~
412. remember to face the camera when addressing anonymous second person parties
415. Despair but also despair.
516. Don't try to hide your mistakes using edits or deletions.
417. Absinthe is an excellent aperitif to absinthe. Actually, did you know the color of green is also green?
418. Work is a defeat. Going back to NEET is a defeat. What's was score again?
419. Bet you can't find my bellybutton. No, my other bellybutton.
420. Nobody ever wanted you to go into space, man. Signed, Intergalactic Christ.
421. Slot number 420 is reserved for the instruction "SMOKE WEED EVERY DAY" by imperial decree.
422. Finding a business tie's value correlates well with how many years that you have still bothered wearing it——compliments and comments be damned.
423. All snowmen are potential sex offenders in Wintry disguise.
424. When someone says "plan B", reply with a buttsex joke.
425 When someone replies with a buttsex joke take it figuratively.
426 Hello, Anyone here?
428. Occasionally skip a number
427. When someone switches numbers around so that your post's has already been used, use theirs instead.
Omitting the number is also mandatory a few times in each thread. However, carrying on with the correct numbering is also important.
421443. Know no bounds.
134. Rewind and let me reverse it just like Judas Priest first did
432. Have lewd thoughts.
434. Overcompensate for your social insecurity. For example, if you are a homosexual and afraid of being perceived negatively for it, talk about dicks and anal sex constantly.
435. always talk about dicks, especially if you're a cute little girl.
436. You can't talk about cute little girls if you are a dick.
437. Nothing at all forbids a true dick from talking what s/h/it will.
438. Shit is not a thinking and feeling entity. If this were not true, the sewers would be brimming with plots of pestilence, unclean shoes and an irreversible holocaust of our beloved starfish.
439. If a sneeze festers within you and cannot completely come to pass, your eyes may water and people will think you have been crying. Try pulling nose hairs the next time you cannot achoo.
440. Every one of your fingers was grown to specification so that you could jack off in your room all day. Jesus loves you more than you will know.
441. Doorknobs are filthy so you should only open doors by kicking them.
442. :3
443. Brace for impact.
444. Don't get your hopes too high, or you might get dissapointed on the future.
445. Take the Four-Fortyfive to Tuscon
446. Red-colored assless chaps only go with a matching red ass.
446. Red-colored assless chaps only go with a matching red ass.
448. If you only just woke up, you are not primed for VIP poise or quality. Return to your chocolate milkshake only crunchy.
449. Attempting base jumping is not a death wish. Base jumping is a life wish.
450. You can always stall for more time. Where you can't, there's normally a time bomb somewhere.
451. Everything has an ignition point. Everything burns. Even Buddhists.
452. Taste the rainbow
453. Spare some semen for a demon.
454. Knockity-knock-knock, I'm not a viscious, bipedal croc'. Knockity-knock-knock, open the door, please, it seems to still be locked.
455. Tricky words like 'orange' and 'purple' can always rhyme with something else if your accent is deep and phlegmy.
456. Dealers wins. Dealer wins doubly when you run out of chips and leave his sight. Dealer does not have many friends—but, of those, they are often green and sickly.
457. Watch more streams on Twitch.tv and use multitwitch to get them all at the same time.
458. Make a live stream of your child's conception
459. Be the 459th visitor in a site where the 1000th wins a prize
460. Check for sage; sometimes it is accidently left in the field.
461. Get high and obsess over existentialist bullshit.
462. Go to Danbooru and dig up strange images while searching for fap material.
463. Go do Gelbooru, instead, because the good shit still isn't questionable, deleted, barred, "legally queried", monitored for standards of low-but-not-that-low-life community standards or outright banned. THEN FAP. THEN REGRET IT. THEN FAP AGAIN AND ENJOY A HARD-EARNED BEER. THEN PRAY TO TANASINN ENTITIES FOR ANSWERS TO VIRTUALLY UNKNOWABLE, WORLRDLY QUESTIONS OF WHAT SEXY NOTIONS BELONG TO THE NOMADIC DICK AND WHAT NOTIONS BELONG ONLY TO THE ETERNAL, POLYTHEISTIC DEVIL AND WHY YOU SHOULDN'T CAST ALL ASIDE AND PRAY TO THE YELLOW-BELLIED SUN TO START WITH.
464. take a fucking breather and abstain from capital letters for a few days.
465. Celebrate April Fool's Day
466. April Fools! Don't celebrate April Fool's Day.
467. Put apostrophes AFTER the S when something is both plural and possessive. April Fools' Day is the day in April for fools. It is not the lone fool's day. It's also not just plural fools. Combine plural and possessive and you get an apostrophe at the very end. Fools' day.
468. Shut the fuck up faggot
469. Be the lone April Fool.
470. Make it through April Fools' without getting memed
471. Attempt >>470, but don't beat yourself up if you fail at it. Or at least, not too hard.
472. Give me attention.
473. Don't think too hard about existential problems.
474. It all returns to nothing.
475. It all keeps tumbling down, tumbling down, tumbling down.
476. Smile in exactly 24 hours from when you read this, not a second more nor less
477. Grow a toothbrush mustache.
478. Mix a raw egg and hard-boiled egg, fry that, and eat it.
479. Four seventy-nine. Say it with me. It's also the combination to my super secure briefcase. You will not find my briefcase.
480. Rubbing alcohol has a variety of purposes, namely one...plus a bunch of others I'm forgetting right now.
481. You can fish a piano, but you can't fish a tuna.
482. Shadows follow everybody. Trust nobody.
483. You can tune a piano, and you can tune a file system as well.
484. Rejoice in palindromesemordnilap ni eciojeR .484
485. "RACE CAR" backwards is "FUCK YOU" in reverse gear.
486. You're supposed to have lewd thoughts about your Italian teacher. I don't care how old you are.
487. Cracking your fingers too much will result in partly ruining your dexterity and nearly damn-well snapping our joints trying desperately to replicate the same synovial fluid auditorials. Settle for less and start studying Khoisan.
488. A morning erection is a poorly erection. You should be waking up in the afternoon or later like a true and dedicated NEET.
489. 'Duck and cover' is not an public service announcement to glazing a Christmas turkey correctly.
490. Butterfly ETA unspecified. Chrysalis may or not include wings upon arrival. All specifications are subject to change without notice.
491. Tell a teller I told you to tell her I'd tell on her.
492. Ask me no questions, ask me no mysteries, ask me no requests for no anchovies.
493. Become one of those old fishermen who wear the yellow-orange raincoat, have a big, bristly grey beard, and smoke a pipe.
494. Keep rejoicing in palindromesemordnilap ni gniciojer peeK .494
Don't do drugs. Unless you really, really want to.
496. Don't do drugs. You'll forget how to use numbers.
497. Don't not do drugs.
498. Do drugs for happy fun time today!
500. Be halfway to a thousand.
501. Be the guy who one-ups the milestone by one unit
502. Incrementally one-up each post by +1.
503. Nibble your way to freedom.
504. Chews your words carefully.
505. Life is short; same similar, life hangs by a thread. Spare no time for explanations, margins of error or cast doubt. Chomp to conclusions.
506. Boom fuck her straight in the pussy.
507. Contemplate the universe
508. penis penis penis
509. Relish eggcorns like >>505
510. Beverly Hills
511. Make good threads
512. Be dividable by 2, 4, 8, 16, 32, 64, 128 and 256.
513. Make bad threads, too.
514. Fuck some nice asses, too
516. They expect one of us in the wreckage, brother.
517. Build a miniature castle so you can tell people that you've built a castle.
518. If you are unable to even build a miniature castle, tell people that you've built one anyway.
520. Do not mix up the numbers 519 and 529 as they are actually different numbers.
521. N y a n p a s u
522. n^2a^2ypsu
524. Each rule should be unique in meaning.
525. Pee funny blobs
527. Don't >>526
528. Go to bed late and sleep until 12.
529. N Y A N P A S U
1
9
.
N
Y
A
N
P
A
S
U
530. Go to bed late and sleep until 5pm.
531. Don't go to bed so late that you may call it early.
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10+B0F33D1004BB8481B5A816A1E78B376C+10960747
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533. :3
534. Ask.
532. >>532
535. Obtain a miniature train set; they're a real bargain. All you have to do is shrink yourself and bam, you've got a life-sized train for free. It's all yours.
537. Praise Suika