Fancy hearing cake

1 slimy cucumber
Juice of one baby, fresh from the blender (it's awwwwwwwwright)
The heart of a mother
cats whiskers, plucked with oak chopsticks.
14 eggs
mayonnaise
One bag of flour blessed with holy water

Mix the cucumber with the eggs, and urinate on it. Hollow out the cucumber and pour in the baby juice. Dig a hole seven feet deep and eight feet in diameter and pour the mixture into it. Then fill the rest of the hole with concrete. Wait twenty years. Allow the mixture to sit for five to ten days. Slam the rest of the ingredients in someone's mouth. Rub the mayonnaise all over the heart.