Hello, Yankee. This is the thread where we learn to speak Nihongo, so that we may one day speak like Happy Japanese.
こんにちわみんなさん。
Ｈｏｗ ｏｎ Ｅａｒｔｈ ｄｏ ｙｏｕ ｍａｋｅ ｔｈｅ ｓｍａｌｌ ’ｔｓｕ’？
ビップです
俺うんこを食べます（おれうんこをたべます）
I eat unko.
俺 is the personal pronoun. うんこ is the direct object. 食べる is the verb; the -ます indicates that the action is taking place in the present.
Now you know how to proclaim your love of unko like Happy Japanese.