FUCK WHY DO I NEED TO WAIT UNTIL OCTOBER TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND I WANT TO HOLD HIM IN MY ARMS RIGHT NOW WHILE HE FUCKING PETS MY HEAD GENTLY AND I SMILE AND CLOSE MY EYES. I FUCKING LOVE HIM MORE THAN WORDS CAN EXPRESS BUT AT THIS RATE I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO SEE HIM REGULARLY. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT.