I wish my mother wouldn't call me under the guise of wondering how I'm doing, if I'm eating well and how school seems to be going when all she really wants to know is if I've heard from my brother since he shut out his friends and family from his life. (I thought he had killed himself for a small period of time.) I also wish my mother wouldn't call me at all. There is a reason why I haven't been home since graduating from high school. And there is a reason why my brother is irreversibly fucked up. I'm just thankful that I'm at least functional. I wonder if the fruits of their parenting keep them up at night. I honestly don't want them to be haunted by it (because they aren't bad people, just bad parents). I'm just wondering how they feel about knowing that their children do not want them in their lives.

I hope I never have kids.